Tag: Allyship

by Abbey Harrison

“It’s PC gone mad! What if I decided I identify as a potato?! I am going to be personally offended by any individuals who don’t refer to me as ‘Mr. Potato’ from now on!!”

I immediately ran through what my plan of attack was going to be in this situation. I was at work, and the man loudly expressing his eye-roll inducing opinion was a customer. I didn’t want to cause too much of a scene for fear of getting in trouble with my company. But, there I was, a cis-gender, heterosexual, white, middle-class woman who knew that it was my responsibility to be an ally to my queer peers/colleagues/neighbours/fellow Kiwis. So, I said what I could without getting in trouble; “Um, I mean, I don’t think the queer community are choosing to be who they are, I think they just are that way. I think that, maybe, humans are just much more complex than how we’ve been treating them”. From what I can recall, he didn’t have much to say to that, just muttered something about snowflakes and walked out.

As a social work student, I like to try to understand an individual’s perspective. Even though I know that there are many people in the world who have similar opinions to this man, I hadn’t spent a lot of time trying to get into their mindset. Is it tall poppy syndrome? Fear of change? Feeling behind the times? All of the above? Regardless, no matter how hard I tried to understand Mr. Potato’s perspective, I couldn’t help but think about the plight of the LGBTQIA+/Rainbow community in Aotearoa/New Zealand.

The statistics show us that one in every five students who identified their sexuality as non-heterosexual reported being bullied at school on at least a weekly basis. They also show that in 2012 almost half of queer youth in Aotearoa had seriously considered attempting suicide, and that 1-in-5 had actually attempted to take their own life. In a country where we were so quick to declare “this is not our NZ” in the wake of the Christchurch tragedy, it is astounding to me that these statistics are going unnoticed or ignored by wider New Zealand society.

In 2019 New Zealand it is simply unacceptable to be contributing to these horrifying statistics by erasing or invalidating the identities and lived experiences of our LGBTQIA+ whānau. By making jokes about the ‘identity alphabet’, sexuality preferences, or ‘snowflakes’ you are contributing to the discourse that the nuances and subtleties of a person’s personal identity are either unimportant or non-existent.

What do we, as humans, have to lose by making other humans feel respected, validated, and comfortable?

There are hundreds upon hundreds of incredible resources at our fingertips. These resources break down any questions someone may have about the LGBTQIA+ experience; from the differences between sex, gender identity, and gender expression, to the spectrum of sexual orientations and their meanings. People like Ash Hardell dedicate their lives to education around the LGBTQIA+ community (I highly recommend their ‘ABCs of LGBT’ series as a starting point!) Or, if you are looking for something closer to home, Rainbow Youth NZ designed the incredible ‘Inside Out’ for in-school education, but is really helpful in laying out the ins and outs of the LGBTQIA+ community and how we can better facilitate a rainbow-friendly community in very practical (and easy!) ways.

So, Mr Potato stick on your plastic ears and listen to me. Every human deserves to have their identity properly recognised and respected. If you don’t understand it, that’s okay, but please take my advice and educate yourself. We are all still learning, it is a never-ending process. But deliberate ignorance is no longer acceptable, it is time to treat people with the respect that you expect to be afforded to you.

References:

Ash Hardell. (2019, 5 June). Home [Ash Hardell]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/user/HeyThere005/videos

Harris, S. (2017, 2 August). Break The Silence: Rainbow suicide rate five times higher than mainstream. New Zealand Herald. Retrieved from: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11896922

Inside Out, Rainbow Youth. (Accessed on: 2019, 5 June). How to Use Inside Out for Teachers and Youth Workers. Rainbow Youth. Retrieved from: https://insideout.ry.org.nz/

New Zealand Family Planning. (2018, 17 May). People of Diverse Genders and Sexualities More Likely to be Bullied. Retrieved from: https://www.familyplanning.org.nz/news/2018/people-of-diverse-genders-and-sexualities-more-likely-to-be-bullied