By Naomi Smith
One of the reasons I wanted to become a social worker was to help others who may have had similar experiences as myself. I have been able to access good therapists, and learn skills in self-reflection and I can quite honestly say, these have saved my life. The most helpful people were those who genuinely cared about my wellbeing and who shared their stories. They didn’t launch into huge life stories, nor were they over-emotional (either of which would not be appropriate in that role) but it helped me to know I was not alone, and I could get through it. It gave me hope.
My experiences are just stories to me now; if they still brought up raw feelings I wouldn’t ever mention them, and to be honest I hardly ever do, but the understanding I have of human beings and our capabilities in the circumstances we can find ourselves in, have been my most valuable tool in working with people. Sometimes just saying “I get it, I’ve been there” is enough.
Sharing lived experience is a highly personal choice, and you have no idea what can trigger people. My utmost role is a duty of care to my client and I take this very seriously. There are some good guidelines I found on self-disclosure in Social Work and these have been useful .
I have had two different experiences of the role of lived experience in social work. One was with a Maori run NGO and one was with a government agency. The Maori NGO had core principles of Whakawhanaungatanga, Manaakitanga and Rangatiratanga. Through the workshops and trainings, the staff were invited to disclose personal stories. There were trainings on suicide prevention, drug and alcohol addictions, mental health, sexual abuse so you get the picture. There was no judgement if you did or did not share, and confidentiality was emphasised. It was part healing for some and served to work on our own potential triggers; it helped reduce shame and stigma and importantly, it built bonds between colleagues.
It is seen in other organisations: Changing Minds only employs those in recovery from mental health or addiction issues, and the Jungian archetype of the Wounded Healer has been around for a while. This is where supervision is so important within social work, and having an experienced supervisor that has had some therapeutic training will add to the quality of that journey.
On my second work placement at a government organisation, my supervisor asked me why I wanted to work for them. I told them I shared some of the experiences of their clients (it was on my CV, this was no surprise) and I was met with “don’t share that with anyone in the office, and certainly not your clients”. What did they mean by this? They talked about not wanting to trigger the clients, which I completely understand, and they were concerned that I would become a topic of gossip in the office. This kind of culture compounds stigma and shame which are two things we should be striving to eliminate. I found an article detailing white therapists experience of self-disclosure to Mexican-American clients. The author found that this actually helped to break down barriers in the client/ therapist relationship. You can read the article here and is also relevant when working with Tangata Whenua.
Maybe we have become too risk adverse, and think if we share we have had suicidal thoughts that everyone is going to run around topping themselves. Or that those struggling with addiction will relapse if you say you understand the cravings and they will pass. Framing my response to a person in an emotional state has taken a lot of practice, mainly on my friends and family over the years where mistakes can be a little easier managed, (sometimes!). Sharing stories has taken away the isolation. Compassion, to me, is relating to the feelings: you don’t have to relate to the circumstances that brought those feelings to surface. Ruwhiu and Ruwhiu (2005) say that social workers need to be at peace with themselves before being able to have peace with the practice, something which I experience as true for me.
In the spirit of social work in Aotearoa New Zealand, there is a lot to learn from whakawhanaungatanga. As Ruby Wax said in a podcast with Russell Brand, both of whom have suffered from depression and anxiety, “We’re so alone, and no one is comparing notes.” I believe it is possible in the right circumstances, that my lived experience can help others to see we are all human and there is hope.
References
Brand, R (2017). Madness and Meditation. Under The Skin with Russell Brand and Ruby Wax. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uhpc_FsMAM
Danzer, G., (2017). White Therapist Self-Disclosure in Multicultural Contexts. Society for Psychotherapy. Retrieved from: https://societyforpsychotherapy.org/white-therapist-self-disclosure-multicultural-contexts/
Dunne, C (2013) Carl Jung: Wounded Healer of the Soul. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZTG-tCEFv4
Ruwhiu, P. T., & Ruwhiu, L. A. (2005). Ko te pae o te atua mai i nga whakaaro hohonu nei, hei oranga mo te ira tangata. Te Komako 17(2), 4-19. Retrieved from https://anzswjournal.nz/anzsw/article/view/330/387
Vaz, G. Boundaries of Self Disclosure. Ethical Social Work Practice. Retrieved from: https://ethicalsocialwork.wixsite.com/ethicalsocialwork/boundaries-of-self-disclosure
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